How to perform Garbhadhana samskara?

Srila Prabhupada spoke quite frequently about the necessity of performing Garbhadhana samskara for conceiving good children. We understand that it is important, but we don't really know what it is.

Srila Prabhupada spoke quite frequently about the necessity of performing Garbhadhana samskara for conceiving good children. This idea is repeated by many of his disciples and grand disciples in lectures, seminars, and books. However, not so much is done to explain what "Garbhadhana samskara" is really about. As a result, most of us are quite lost in this regard. We understand that "Garbhadhana samskara" is important, but we don't really know what it is.

There are many different injunctions in different scriptures, and some of the rituals don't seem to make much sense in the context, like eating a certain type of dhal. Is it sufficient to just chant 50 rounds, or there is more? This article contains some conclusions I reached after researching the subject. You are free to comment adding whatever other information you have on this topic.

First of all, what is Garbhadhana samskara? It happens that children are not tabula rasas, but bring their previous impressions, personal traits, and desires from past lives. The upbringing and the education a child receives from the parents and tutors play a great role in who he or she is going to become, but a great deal is brought from his previous life. A highly enlightened soul will be able to ascend to the highest level of spiritual practice with just a little help, while a soul at a lower level of spirtual development may struggle to follow basic moral principles even with the best education.

The whole idea of Garbadhana samskara is based on attracting an enlightened soul to take shelter in the new body that is being created during conception. Considering how an important part of our lives our children are, the choice of the soul who will come into our family is quite important.

The difficult thing about Garbadhana samskara is that this is a test in which is not possible to cheat. Some think that they can attract an enlightened soul by just thinking about Krsna during the time of conception. This idea is similar to the idea that one can do whatever he wants during his life and go to the spiritual world in the end by just thinking about Krsna at the time of death. It doesn't work very well. Just as one can't have a devotional attitude at the time of death unless he practiced and developed it during his life, one can't have a devotional attitude at the time of conception unless he or she has been practicing it the rest of the time.

The first component of Garbhadhana Samskara is thus our general spiritual practice, what we have been doing every day. The idea is that we should practice Krsna Consciousness for some time and try to conceive a child when we become more or less stable in that practice, and not the opposite.

The second component is the blessings of other devotees, as well as blessings from the ancestors, demigods, saintly persons, and Krsna Himself. Some go to saintly persons and just directly ask for whatever blessings they want, and the poor sadhus without other options usually just agree. However, this is not the process. Real blessings are obtained by making a person grateful, which can be done only by performing some meaningful service. In other words, the way to get real blessings from Vaishnavas is by offering them some service and not by just asking strangers. If devotees are satisfied with us, they will give us their heartfelt blessings, even without asking. Blessings from ancestors and demigods are obtained by performing our duties and by serving Krsna. A devotee doesn't need to worship any demigod or even the forefathers, because just by serving Krsna he performs the best service to all of them.

Another important part of getting blessings is to perform austerities on recommended days, especially on Ekadasi as well as occasions such as Janmashtami, Gaura Purnima, and Bhisma Panchaka. The reason such austerities exist is that they help us to get out of the bodily concept of life and thus advance spiritually. By performing such austerities we satisfy Krsna by walking steps in His direction.

One can fast on these days, increase his devotional service, chant more rounds, serve devotees, give charity, or everything combined. The effect of fasting during Ekadasis for example is cumulative, so one who fasts on all Ekadasis for a long period can get some serious blessings. Even if it's not possible for both to follow it, if at least one (be it the husband or the wife) can do it, this can be already more than enough.

Another principle is regularly studying the scriptures. This is something that has a very profound effect on our consciousness. To just learn the scriptures like a mental exercise may not help so much, but when one studies regularly in the company of other devotees and has the opportunity of applying this knowledge in his daily life, gradually going through the process of transforming jnana in vijnana, the results can be quite powerful. Some think that Garbhadhana Samskara is some kind of ritual that awards automatic results, but it is not. Everything depends on our consciousness, and an elevated consciousness can be maintained only through regular spiritual practice.

The second component of Garbhadhana samskara is to plan the time of the conception, instead of just doing things for fun as most people do. The concept is based on the idea of choosing beforehand an appropriate day and time for the conception and preparing for it, instead of conceiving spontaneously, just out of lust and desire.

There are many prescriptions and recommendations from different scriptures on this topic. Some even attempt to compile books in this regard. The problem is that it's very easy to get bogged down in the many useless details (do you really think that eating a certain type of dhal during the day of conception will bring a pure devotee to your family?) and forget about the main components.

In fact, in most cases trying to follow all these small details will do more harm than good, by forcing the couple to run around doing different useless rituals instead of focussing on the main points, which are chanting the holy names and serving other Vaishnavas. Just like in a marriage ceremony, these are the main components, not all the small rituals.

This may be the reason Srila Prabhupada did not mention practically any of these rituals. Instead, he prescribed a simple method to beget good children: couples who desire a child should have intercourse only one time per month, with this purpose in mind, choosing a fertile day according to the menstrual period. This day should be reserved for spiritual practices: both should chant at least 50 rounds, hear the scriptures, worship the Lord, and so on, to purify the consciousness, leaving the conception for the night.

The periods that mark the transition between night and day (daybreak and twilight) are called sandhyas. These are periods when one is supposed to chant the Gayatri mantra and meditate on the Lord and therefore are strongly prohibited times for conception. The story of Diti and Kasyapa Muni in the 3rd canto of Srimad Bhagavatam alerts us of the danger of conceiving a child at an inappropriate time. Kasyapa Muni interrupted the performance of his religious duties during the evening sandhya to beget a child in Diti, and therefore two powerful demons came. This is the time in which Lord Shiva walks around the world with his ghostly associates. Being merciful to them, he arranges for one of them to take birth from any couple who performs union at that time. This is a serious issue (SB 3.14.24 purport is an interesting reference on this connection).

The evening sandhya ends 24 minutes after the sunset. To be on the safe side, it’s recommended to wait at least one hour. The allowed time for conception goes then up to midnight. After this time, the morning starts which is again a forbidden period. The scriptures mention that a man who performs sexual activities only at the allowed time during the night is considered to be a brahmacari, even while begetting children in family life.

Considering the first day of the period as day one, conception is allowed, according to sastra, from the night of the 5th day, up to the night of the 16th day of the cycle. Srila Prabhupada recommends from the 6th day onwards, and the Dharma Sindhu prohibits union on the 11th and 13th day (it’s stated that union on these days may result in an unfortunate or morally degraded child). Therefore, considering both, the available options are the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 12th, 14th, 15th and 16th days.

From these, the last four, starting from the 12th are considered better to beget a strong child, being also the days that offer the highest possibility of conception, since they match the ovulation in most women. Union is also prohibited on ekadasis and days of fasting or festivals (that should be reserved for spiritual practices), as well as in the dawn, daytime, and twilight (as mentioned, one should wait for at least one hour after sunset).

Couples who are having difficulties conceiving should check the fertile days according to the cycle and combine the two pieces of information to find the most suitable day. If the cycle is irregular (which makes it difficult to determine an appropriate day for conception), it may be a good idea to seek medical help to normalize the cycle. An irregular cycle is a signal of weak health of the mother, which is naturally unfavorable for one trying to conceive.

Biologically, there are only five or six days in each cycle on which the union may result in a child, and from these, only three offer a high possibility. Therefore, it is much better to select a favorable day instead of trying randomly. The quality of the semen of the man is essential to beget a healthy and spiritually inclined baby. If one tries multiple times during the month, the semen becomes weak, which is not good for the child.

There are different vows that can be followed to receive a powerful son, like the Payovrata (described in the 8th canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, where one practices austerities and follows strictly devotional practices for 12 days) and the Pumsavana vrata (followed for a period of one year, described in the 7th canto). However, the mother of all vows is Ekadasi, and the father is Sankirtana Yajna. To simply follow Ekadasis strictly, fasting and dedicating the day to chanting and executing devotional practices, or doing harinama or book distribution regularly is sufficient to attain any grace one may desire. There is an Ekadasi called Putrada, whose observance is especially recommendable for one desiring a child.

In general, a couple trying to conceive a child should increase their devotional practices, chanting more rounds, keeping a good sadhana, maintaining a favorable mentality (avoiding getting angry or envious, controlling lust, etc.), serving other Vaishnavas, worshiping the deity, giving charity, being strict about eating only prasadam, studying and reciting Srimad Bhagavatam, hearing classes and bhajans and so on. This helps not only to conceive a spiritually inclined child but also to make spiritual advancement. A couple who can maintain a strong spiritual practice can be blessed to receive an advanced Vaishnava or Vaishnavi as their child, and thus advance further by serving and educating this enlightened soul.

We come then to the third component of Garbhadhana Samskara, which is often neglected.

Apart from all regulations, the couple should have a loving and harmonious relationship. As Srila Prabhupada explains in SB 4.1.6, “if a husband and wife are always satisfied with one another, then the goddess of fortune automatically comes. In other words, where there is no disagreement between husband and wife, all material opulence is present, and good children are born.”

There are cases of couples who try to follow all rules strictly but forget to invest in developing their relationship, which is a serious mistake. Couples who don’t have a harmonious relationship rarely can raise good children, no matter how serious they may individually be in their spiritual practice. We can put ourselves in Krsna's place: would we entrust our pure devotee to the care of some dysfunctional family just because the father or the mother chants a lot of rounds?

These simple regulations can be augmented by instructions from the guru or senior Vaishnavas who have studied the Vedic process of garbhadhana samskara (there are astrological considerations on choosing the date and time, specific rituals to be observed, vows, etc.), but what is really important is to follow the devotional standards strictly and especially to chant a minimum of 50 rounds attentively. Even if there is some fault, the attentive chanting of the holy names will cover for it.

As mentioned in the scriptures: Om apavitrah pavitro va sarvavastham gato 'pi va yah smaret pundarikaksham sa bahyabhyantarah shuchih, "Whether one is pure or impure, or having passed through all conditions of life, if one remembers the lotus-eyed Supreme Lord (Pundarikaksha), one becomes both internally and externally purified."

Chanting the Lord's name and remembering Him is the true process of purification. All other practices and rituals are secondary at best.

One should be careful to not add too many details, creating a stressful situation and ruining the couple’s mental state on the chosen day. In any case, it's not possible to perfectly execute all the rituals and details in our era. An intelligent devotee will focus on the essential aspects instead of the details.

As Srila Prabhupada explains, at the moment of conception the mind should be sober and devotional (SB 3.16.35). The goal of all these regulations is to have the proper mentality and thus attract a powerful Vaishnava. A few other references in this regard are BG 16.1-3 purport, SB 3.20.28 purport, SB 4.27.5 purport, SB 6.4.52 purport, and the letter to Satsvarupa from 20 September 1968.

In essence, the goal of married life in Krsna consciousness is to build a relationship based on service to the Lord, mutual appreciation, and affection. This kind of relationship is much deeper and more pleasurable than a trivial relationship centered around sexual interaction. Instead of just conditioning us to the material nature, such a standard of relationship helps us to advance in spiritual life.

The Vedic process is based on offering ways to perform activities that we are attached to in ways that don’t degrade our consciousness, just like sometimes a toxic substance, used therapeutically, becomes capable of curing a disease caused by exactly the same compound. Conversely, when one starts to engage in sex frequently, his consciousness quickly becomes degraded, and the mind takes over, demanding more. By discharging semen repeatedly, a man’s intelligence becomes weaker and it becomes harder and harder for him to stop. It can quickly become a self-destructive downward spiral, just like addiction to alcohol or drugs. The process of garbhadhana samskara offers a therapeutical use for human sexuality. After chanting, praying, hearing the scriptures, and so on, one’s consciousness is fixed on a high spiritual level. By engaging in sexual intercourse with such consciousness, with the purpose of generating offspring with one’s legitimate wife or husband, one has the opportunity to see things in the proper context, which brings detachment. After doing it a few times, and begetting the desired number of children, one has the opportunity of finally leaving behind his propensity of enjoying, becoming instead more fixed on his duties and spiritual practice.