Polygamy in our spiritual society: a really bad idea

Some enthusiastically speak about introducing polygamy in our spiritual society, quoting from a purport on Srimad Bhagavatam, where Prabhupada appears to defend the practice. Not so fast.

This is perhaps not an issue for you, but somehow or other this topic keeps coming back to the discussion in certain circles, and this idea can become quite problematic if it gains traction.

Some enthusiastically speak about introducing polygamy in our spiritual society, quoting from a purport on Srimad Bhagavatam, where Prabhupada appears to defend the practice. If it is mentioned in the Vedas, it must be good, right? Why not establish it in our Vaishnava society?

I would not be so quick.

It's true that Prabhupada defends the use of polygamy in a few passages, but this is done in the context of ordinary society, as a solution for men having affairs with many women. Polygamy was accepted in different societies throughout history. There are many mentions of it in the Puranas and the Mahabharata, for example. However, there is another side: Polygamy can be extremely problematic.

We can see that in the story of Dhruva Maharaja the whole problem started because Dhruva's father had more than one wife. One wife became jealous of the other, creating the whole situation. Similarly, kind Dasharatha had more than one wife, and the whole intrigue that led to Lord Rama being exiled started from one wife being jealous of the other. It's important to notice that the pastime of Dhruva Maharaja happened in Satya-Yuga, and Lord Rama came in Treta-Yuga. If even in Satya and Treta-Yuga polygamy created this sort of problem, one can only imagine what kind of problems it would cause in our current society. Our movement is not formed by perfect sages or even by pious Ksatriyas. We are mostly a movement composed of ex-mlecchas who are coming from extremely sinful backgrounds. We are struggling to reform ourselves through the chanting of the holy names, but most of us are not there yet.

A second point is that we rarely have men nowadays properly qualified to take care of even one wife, what to say about taking care of many. One of the rules of polygamy according to the Vedas is that the man should be capable of maintaining a separate house for each wife and individually take care of each. One wife should not be treated better than the others, since that's precisely where the problems start (as we can observe in the pastime of Dhruva Maharaja). Again, most men can't take proper care of even one wife, what to say about many. In such a situation, polygamy would just open yet another venue for exploitation.

A third point is that although polygamy is accepted in the Vedas, it's not considered a first-class system. The highest standard is when a man has only one wife, an example perfectly given by Lord Rama. Proponents of the system will quickly argue that Krsna had 16,108 wives, but they forget the fact that He is God and we are not.

Ironically, most Western societies moved to the system of monogamy (in most countries, one can't legally have more than one wife) and even in India the system of polygamy is now frowned upon. It would be funny, to say at least, if our Vaishnava society which is responsible for upholding the highest moral values would move back to a system that most other societies already abandoned.

Yet another factor is that our Vaishnava culture is based on decreasing our entanglement with matter, and not increasing it. Most people have a need for family life, but this can be satisfied with just one wife or husband. Permission for having multiple wives would just make men more attached to material life, instead of the opposite. Instead of taking a wife and investing in the relationship, men would keep looking around for other ladies, and ladies who are looking for men would be encouraged to approach married men, increasing the problem.

Despite the problems, polygamy worked in previous ages because people would be more restrained and responsible. If implemented nowadays in our society, however, the result would be chaos. Srila Prabhupada actually considered it very hard if he should allow or not polygamy in our society. At the time, there was the same shortage of qualified men for marriage we have nowadays. Still, after considering the pros and cons, Srila Prabhupada decided against allowing the practice. If one wants to have many wives, he can move to some country that allows that and live there separately surrounded by his harem, but he can't do it inside any of our communities.

I'm convinced that we would not have an International Society for Krsna Consciousness nowadays if polygamy had been instituted in our movement back in the 1970s. One can imagine all the troubles our society had in the 1980s and 1990s, plus numerous scandals related to polygamy. I don't think our movement would have survived.

I wish all Prabhus who are dreaming of having more than one wife could consider these complications before advocating it in public.